There was a man who didn’t know the difference betwixt
A naturist and naturalist, he always got them mixed.
One day his girlfriend asked him if he’d take a holiday
With her down on the coast in a most naturalistic way.
Of course, my precious Liebling! he replied, anticipating
A week of naked lewdness and delightful fornicating.
Poor bleeder, did he get a shock! The only nude he saw
Was the chicken he plucked for lunch; that left him feeling raw,
And the nearest he got, poor lad, to rolling in the hay,
Was when he watched a bull ambush a cow and have its way.
It wasn’t any fun at all, a-hiking, watching birds,
A crying shame, but he’s to blame, confusing sim’lar words.
Make sure you learn from his mistake, in case one day you find
You’ve been invited somewhere that’s not what you had in mind.
A dirty weekend in Brighton could have a double meaning:
You think she’s taking you to bed and end up carpet cleaning.
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