The Positive Alternative

In keeping with its commitment to the eradication of racism, sexism and all forms of discrimination, our schools have a duty to teach homosexuality as a positive alternative to being straight. - Dick Head, in We Want Your Children, page 7, Wankersí Gazette, 6th September, 1989.

The wicked homophobic slugs decry the way we live,
Whatís so bad that a chap should want to take as well as give?
Why does it so revolt them that we like it up the crack?
Iíd rather have the smell of shit than some tartís fishy crack.
A meaningful relationship is what most of us need,
We seldom long for families, and donít desire to breed.
So we seek pleasure stabbing shit, fellatio, golden showers...
And in the bathhouse we can bum each other off for hours.
A meaningful relationship with ten or twenty guys,
The mere thought of a hairy bum brings water to my eyes,
Come on, chaps, take it like a man, bend over, grease your rim,
Lifeís short and cruel - and even shorter now that weíve got Slim.

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