Leroy Cool Meets Barack Obama

Man, this flight to Bradley is crowded; most of them seem to be press and stuff, they must be on their way to that terrible mass shooting. The stewardess told me I could be sitting next to a surprise VIP. Wonder who that could be.

Hi there.

Thinks: What the fuck?

It’s very crowded today, sadly.

You’re a celebrity double, right?

No, Air Force One is grounded at the moment.

I guess you must be going to meet the folks after that school shooting.

Yes, so tragic, so unnecessary.

I hope you won’t think me forward but I have a couple of ideas about how to stop such tragic, unnecessary deaths.

Gun control?

No, something much more basic, and something you could do tomorrow.

Okay kid, you’ve got a captive audience.

Well, first you could shut down the drone programme. That way we wouldn’t kill innocent civilians in Pakistan and elsewhere, including schoolkids and old women.

Thinks: Oh, fuck.

Then you could stop financing and supporting Zionist Imperialism that is killing young kids in Occupied Palestine.

Is this kid bothering you, Mr President?

Greatly.

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