Gareth Linekar — The Teenager And The Whore

March 22, 1993: In Streatham, South London, a near naked woman knocks on a house door and claims to have been raped. This results in the conviction of Gareth Linekar who is sentenced to two years probation and 100 hours community service. That sentence was extraordinarily lenient, even for a teenager, but you will soon understand why.

The non-victim was a prostitute who was plying her trade outside a cinema. When she raised the alarm, she was not only nearly naked but appeared distressed. Linekar was arrested shortly. It is quite likely the seventeen year old was a virgin before this encounter. I havenít been able to find a photograph of him but I would assume also that he was unprepossessing if not ugly. Why else would a kid of his age have sex with a whore? It soon came out what had happened, the sex was consensual contigent on a fee of £25, but they had the sex first then whoosh, he was gone.

A case like this had to go to appeal, and resulted in the kind of philosophising about how many angels can dance on the head of a pin. The Court Of Appeal sided with Linekar, quashing his conviction on October 21, 1994. Here is the judgment.

If anything this was theft of services, but as an immoral contract is not enforceable in law, there are no civil remedies for this sort of thing. Like the case of the three basketball players a decade later, this one should be filed under ASKING FOR IT. Four more points:

I assume this incident occurred on March 22; according to the judgment, the whore was working her patch on March 21, and was approached by Linekar after midnight, ie March 22.

Leaving aside humour, cases like this - whether or not they involve allegations of rape - are extremely difficult for jurors because both the accused and the accuser lied about what had happened. Obviously her nakedness was contrived, and he did not submit himself to cross-examination.

One of the judges in the above appeal - Morland - was the trial judge in Baron v Housmans - silly old cunt.

And finally, donít whatever you do confuse this little twerp with Gary Lineker!

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