Scene: A stage at a prize giving for a bodybuilding competition. On the stage stand two bodybuilders dressed in swimming trunks; they are very muscular and both are holding plaques. The host, dressed in suit and tie, is at the microphone. There can be extras on the stage, but the audience need not appear.
Host: (Holding up a card) AND THE FIRST PRIZE GOES TO...TOM ARMSTRONG.
(Clapping and cheers. A third bodybuilder walks onto the stage grinning broadly. He walks up to the host, and they shake hands).
Host: TOM, CONGRATULATIONS. THE TROPHY IS JUST HAVING YOUR NAME ENGRAVED ON IT; IN THE MEANTIME, HERE IS YOUR CHEQUE FOR FIVE THOUSAND POUNDS. (Handing him an envelope).
Tom: THANK YOU VERY MUCH. (He takes the envelope and tries to tear it open, but canít. He tugs at it, then makes a more concerted effort. He tugs and tugs, but it wonít tear. He looks embarrassed. The runner-up steps forward, hands his plaque to the host, and takes the envelope, trying to tear it, with the same result. Then the winner takes one end, and the runner up the other. They tug and tug at it together, the third bodybuilder joins in, and they pull it this way and that, moving all over the stage. The host, embarrassed, moves towards the microphone).
Host: (Nervously) WELL, THATíS ALL FROM US HERE IN...AT THE MR UNIVERSE REGIONAL CONTEST. (He looks at the three men who are still tugging away). ER, GOOD NIGHT AND WEíLL SEE YOU AGAIN SOON.
Back To Comedy Sketches Index